Hate To Feel/Want To Feel

Do you ever feel like your mind won’t let you rest? You get enough sleep but your still so tired? And you have to keep functioning, so you just push through, push through, push through. But you want to feel something different. You want relief. From the constant-ness of whatever it is that you are trying not to feel anymore. My tendency is to lean toward alcohol. I recognize that as bad, so I avoid it, for the most part. I like to write, that helps me focus on something other than how I feel for a moment. In my 20’s I used drugs, and sex. This is hard and scary to write about. Putting it out there makes me feel very vulnerable. But I am struggling right now and need to figure out a new way. My brain is on overdrive and I need to function. Has anyone else found new ways of getting through these moments?

I have found that standing in the rain helps. I can feel it on my skin and it is so soothing. But it’s not raining today…


Author: flowerinthemud

This is the blog of a 40 something wife and mother who, when she was all but lost, was reminded of the brave and adventurous spirit she once was. I will be blogging about my life including mental illness, marriage, parenthood, best friends, lost love, and my wild gypsy spirit. I want to share my stories, in hopes of lighting my path, healing, blooming 😉, and to encourage others.

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